Writing or: How I Accidentally Made My First Title a Dick Joke

Three Feet of Oak.

That was my first title for the film. It was perfect. Because my film is to focus mainly on a bartender, it was the perfect double entendre: three feet of oak separated him from the customers not only physically, but emotionally. I then told my friend about it, and I learned it was actually a triple entendre.

Apparently, in the minds of some immature high schoolers, my genius title was actually a joke about the length of our hero's genitalia. Naturally, I could not send a dick joke to Cambridge, even if it was unintentional. I needed a new title, and I needed it fast.

So I sat down with pen and paper a scrawled off a list of titles while my psychology teacher prattled on about something I probably already knew. I though of some of thr tropes of recent movie titles; many of them are one word descriptors of the film.

Boyhood

Interstellar

Selma

Some had titles that were long and somewhat convoluted.

Birdman or The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance

The Grand Budapest Hotel

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

And then others were names of the main protagonist/antagonist.

Thor

Maleficent

Godzilla

So with this in mind, I made my list:

• Bar
• Venue
• Live
• Stage
• The Boredom and Interest of Bar-tending
• Following the Weirdos
• The Wonderful, Awful, Sleep-Deprived Life
• Dominic

And then it came to me: Raspberry Vignette.

A title even better than "Three Feet of Oak," it worked on so many levels. My movie will be a series of vignettes; the characters are sweet yet somewhat sour, much like raspberries; like a vinaigrette, my vignettes are loosely held together by a common thread.

I'm happy with my new title, but I am sad that a few dirty birds ruined my original plan.

UPDATE

Upon further reflection and thought, we have changed the name to "For the Record," as the film now takes place in a record store.